The Head Trainer Speaks

It isn't fair to start the show without a word or two

From Miss Romaine, a trainer, whom we introduce to you.

To the uninitiated, running a four-ring circus is a simple matter; to those long experienced in the business, it has its difficulties, its trials, its dangers, and its joys.

The big bell rings; all the little animals run merrily form their haunts into the four rings of the big tent and prepare to perform for the assistant ringmasters. Sometimes, a few of the monkeys climb the wrong tree, in search of peanuts or chewing gum instead of knowledge; some of the trick ponies lope merrily off to the Diablo Golf Course; cultured cats may be found howling in some far-off movie house, and even an elephant occasionally is discovered lumbering along the highway, trunk and all, searching for adventure. These wandering animal spirits must be sought, brought back, and caged until they recover from their wanderlust. Then they growl and stalk with outraged dignity behind the bars. At times they do not like the food they get, and they refuse to eat, and then their trainers give them cards to chew on, with big black "F's" inscribed on them. At moments such as these, the trainers run, for "F" to them means "Fly!"

Occasionally these animals come prancing merrily into their rings, clad in strange fashion with outlandish garments made in prehistoric times and stiffened with the soil of ages past. These serve as armor against their enemies but also keep their friends aloof.

In these they cheerfully disport themselves, engaging in sham battles in the sawdust ring, riding around, in and out, in odd, decrepit four-wheeled chariots, which start and stop but do not go until the monkeys push, the horses pull, and cats blow sirens loud and shrill to make the passage clear; and then some kind elephants with long extended trunks catch on and tow them in.

The monkeys and the ponies perform their childish stunts to amuse the cats and elephants, who seem to sit around on benches, and make remarks and poke a little fun at them as they try to run up ladders labeled A and B, swinging in the air above them. Sometimes a cat laughs as he sees an elephant, grown old and kind, try to teach a monkey how to jump through circles, only to find himself with his poor old head caught in the ring. And then the cat is raised aloft and swung into the sky with violence, to study stars and gain in wisdom.

The ringmaster, who has a heart, and who has been a monkey, pony, cat, and elephant in other worlds, smiles understandingly, pats old wrinkled Jumbo and leads him to his stall, while ponies run beside them, teasing him, cats crowd on his back, and monkeys run along his trunk to get a thrill - and so the circus ends.

From Mt. Diablo High School's 1930 circus-themed yearbook, Diablo